


Heart and Soul

by thegalrahobbitofplantetgalilfrey



Series: Born for Pain [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, I gave you some fluff, PTSD, Paralyzed Keith, S6 Spoilers, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, about time I know, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14968151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegalrahobbitofplantetgalilfrey/pseuds/thegalrahobbitofplantetgalilfrey
Summary: Keith attempts to recover from his captivity, but it isn't easy. Do my sanity/writing a favor and pretend that s6 episodes 4-7 never happened, will you? some minor spoilers.





	1. Chapter 1

Keith heard voices before he could open his eyes. But he couldn’t feel anything. That was odd. The last thing that had happened was… the druid… then the escape… Sudden panic washed over him. He should be able to feel those wounds, or the cold of a cryo pod! Why couldn’t he?! Was he… was he dead?

He heard the bleeping of a heart monitor. Okay. Not dead. In a hospital? Back on Earth? But why would he be back on Earth? Unless… unless he’d never left. Had he been in an accident? Had something happened to put him in a coma? Had Voltron been a figment of his subconscious?

He irritably told himself to open his eyes and find out, so he did. He forced his tired eyelids up, blinking sluggishly at his surroundings. This was the Castle; that was for sure. But _why couldn’t he feel anything_?! Like moving through syrup, he slowly dragged his right hand up to remove the mask from his face. A warm hand on his stopped him. Allura’s hand.

“Can you understand me?” she asked him gently. He nodded slowly, and she gave him a quick smile. “I need you to leave that on, okay? Just for a moment. Coran,” she called over her shoulder, “Painkillers, now! Before the sedative wears off completely!”

Sedative? What was going on? Hadn’t they just put him in a pod?

A sharp pain flared to life in his lower back, and suddenly all of the abuse that he’d taken during his time with the druids came rushing back in a violent whirlwind of pain and confusion. He let out a strangled scream, and Allura held his hand tightly as he felt a slight, pinching sensation on his less injured arm that he barely registered through the rest of the dull agony in the rest of the body.

“Hold on,” Allura told him, “Just hold on, you’re doing fine, you’ll be okay, just hold on!”

He clutched her hand with the ruined remainders of the fingers of his right hand, squeezing tightly, even though it caused him pain, because it also kept him sane, it kept him where he was, it gave him some modicum of control where he’d had none.

Slowly, _agonizingly_ slowly, the pain abated. It faded to a dull throb, and then disappeared entirely. Keith released Allura’s hand, and she gently unbuckled the oxygen mask from his face. She nodded behind her, and Keith’s fellow paladins crowded closer, Lotor in the back but easy to see because of his height.

“Hi,” he croaked.

“Idiot!” That was Pidge, her small hands curled into fists. A watery smile was on her face, and a tear trickled down her face. “What did you go and do that to us for?!”

“Had to.”

“I’ve been stress baking, Keith,” Hunk told him, eyes wide, “ _Extreme_ stress baking! There are cookies _everywhere_! The kitchen is _covered_ in them!”

“Are they good,” Keith quipped shakily, “Or can we use them to fix the teleduv?”

“Oh, very funny. Lucky for you, Allura’s put a restraining order on us.”

Lucky. As if anything about Keith’s situation was lucky. “Or what? You’d hug me?”

“Yes! I would hug you! Until you begged for mercy! We were so worried!”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean for…”

“What matters,” Allura said smoothly, “Is that you’re safe now.” Her expression turned serious. “But there is something that I must tell all of you now. Lance knows, but-”

“I know, too,” Pidge said guiltily, avoiding Allura’s eyes, “I looked at the med scans.”

“I know as well,” Lotor added, although his voice held no trace of guilt, “And it is my opinion that you should have told us sooner.”

Allura flinched guiltily. “I didn’t want to worry you. You were all so relieved that Keith was going to live that I didn’t want to throw this upon you.”

“What?” Keith looked back and forth between Pidge, Lotor, Lance and Allura. Hunk, he was relieved to see, looked just as confused as he felt. “What’s going on?”

“Yeah,” Hunk chimed in, “I’d kind of like to know myself.”

Allura sighed and pulled up a medical scan of Keith’s body, zooming in on his lower back. “The druid stabbed Keith here,” she said, jabbing a spot of the scan that glowed red, “And the knife severed the nerves and the spinal cord.” She turned to Keith hesitatingly. “When you woke up, did you feel any pain in your legs?”

Keith tried to think. No- and that had been strange. His legs had hosted a number of slices from the druid’s knife. It had been odd that he hadn’t felt any hurting. “No.”

Allura sighed. “I thought not. I’m sorry, Keith. But we couldn’t repair the severing of your spinal cord. It’s too badly damaged.”

Keith didn’t like where this was going. “And that means…” he trailed, hoping that she wouldn’t give him confirmation of what he feared.

“You’re paralyzed from the waist down,” Allura breathed in a rush, “You won’t be able to move your legs.”

“Oh,” he said softly, peering down the bed at his unmoving legs.

“I’m sorry,” Allura blurted in a rush, “I wish that I could fix it- but I can’t!”

“I made you some new fingers,” Pidge tried, holding up two metal spheres, as if trying to distract from his paralysis, “Lotor helped a bit with the designs, and Hunk and Matt helped build them!”

“Um, Pidge? I’m sorry… but how are those fingers?”

She pushed her glasses up her nose, making them gleam in the light change, and started to explain them- something about bioelectric magnets. Her techno-babble was a welcome distraction from his thoughts, and he let himself get pulled into the fast patter of her speech as she finished explaining how the two metal lumps would transform fully into gloves with fingers and would be able to detach and reattach to his wrist with only his thoughts.

“Anyway, try them out! You just have to think about them becoming a hand and attaching, and it’ll happen!”

“Do I have to say anything?”

Pidge shrugged. “You can, if you want to.”

He stared intensely at the two metal spheres. _Okay,_ he thought, _turn into hands, now_. The metal obstinately remained a metal lump. Pidge patted his shoulder gently, careful of the bandages wrapped around them.

“It’ll take practice,” she told him, “The magnets still have to get used to you. But it works, I promise! I tested it out, before I switched the brain patterns.”

Allura smiled and shooed the others out, much to his relief. The strain of their visit was tiring, as was staying awake. They all promised to visit, and Hunk promised to bring some cookies next time.

Allura shut the door with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Keith. I know how much the fight meant to you. Pidge believes that you’ll still be able to fly the black lion, but ground fights and Blade missions are out of the question.”

He gave a short nod. “Right.”

Her lips crinkled into a half-smile. “And I think that you should stay out of the training deck for now.”

He briefly returned the smile. “Yeah, that’s- probably a good idea.”

Allura dimmed the lights. “I’m going to let you rest, now. Com if you need anything.”

Keith nodded, and she left. The instant that he was sure she was gone, he threw the blankets off, ignoring the sudden drain on his energy, and used his arms to maneuver himself into a sitting position with his legs dangling over the edge of the bed. The IV lines sticking out of him stretched, but remained attached. Keith took a deep breath and pushed himself off of the bed.

His legs immediately gave out, sending his sprawling to the floor. Altean pain-meds were effective, but it still hurt, and he stifled any cry of pain that tried to escape him. His vision blackened at the sudden loss of energy, and he leaned back against the bed, steadying his breathing and summoning enough strength to haul himself back up on the bed. Amazingly, none of the IV lines had come loose. He laid back on his bed, finally allowing exhaustion to overtake him and falling asleep.

Xxx

Keith growled as he attempted to scroll through a piece of mail that Pidge had sent him, her various and enthusiastic designs for a wheelchair (They ranged from wheelchairs with rockets and dangerous weapons on them to spider legs that would carry him along- he recognized some of them from anime). This had been a lot easier when he’d had fingers. His thumbs flicked clumsily and sent the piece scrolling far down, nearly to the bottom. He attempted to use the stumps of his fingers, and sent it scrolling back up to the top.

“Argh! Just! Scroll! Right! Stupid screen!”

The spheres of metal on his bedside table twitched and zoomed towards his wrist, forming fingers and slipping on the remains of his hands. There was a slight pinch on his wrist, and he looked at the metal hand. The fingers twitched at his will, and he wiggled them experimentally. Their design was flawless, and they moved seamlessly with a slight whirring noise.

Keith put a pillow in front of him and punched it. His hand went right through it, tearing through the soft fabric to make a hole in the pillow. “Okay,” he said to no one in particular, “ _That_ is pretty cool.”

A sudden idea struck him, and he clasped the hands on his knees and willed the hands to detach from his wrist. He moved his arm, using the electromagnetic connection to move his leg up. He managed to swing himself out of the bed, and the metal hands on his knees kept his legs from buckling.

“Okay. Okay. Maybe this can work.”

Keith moved his arm again, this time thrusting it forward. His leg moved again, scooting him forward. He moved his other arm forward, and watched his other leg shuffle forward. Balancing was a bit hard, but he was _walking_!

The door slid open, and he lost his concentration with a yelp, tumbling to the floor and jarring all of his injuries painfully. Allura sighed.

“Oh, Keith.”

His face burned. She’d walked in on him attempting to walk and falling a couple of times before. She clearly thought that now was one of those times again. “No, wait, Allura! I was actually doing it!”

She smiled patronizingly. “I’m sure that you tried very hard, but-”

“No,” he protested, “I really was! Look!” he tugged again on his arm, but instead of moving his leg, the hand flew back onto his wrist.

Allura smiled. “You’ve learned to use Pidge’s hands! That’s excellent!”

“No, I was walking! I-”

Allura picked him up, which unnerved him, and deposited him back in bed. “Keith-”

“I _was_ ,” he insisted, but he could tell that she didn’t believe him.

Allura sat down on the bed near him. “Keith, I know that you took the loss of your legs hard, but you’re going to need to accept it. You aren’t going to be able to move the way you did before, and that’s just… not something that we can fix.”

“I know, but Allura, I figured out a way to-”

“You need to not move around so much. We took you off of the IV lines, and your wounds have almost healed, but you’re still hurt.”

_“It’s funny, how you thought that you could escape your heritage.”_

“I never tried to deny it,” Keith said quiet voice, “I never ran from the fact that I was Galra.” He looked up into Allura’s eyes, trying to make her understand. “I never ran from who I was.”

Allura blinked at him placidly. “I never said that you did.”

“But I _didn’t_. I didn’t ever try to escape my blood.”

Allura’s brow creased. “Alright. Well- that’s good for you.”

Keith sighed. She just _didn’t get it_ , did she? She didn’t understand that he needed confirmation, another voice that told him that he wasn’t a coward and he _never_ ran.

But he _had_ , he’d run from what had happened to Shiro. He didn’t think about it, and he’d avoided talking about it or fighting Shiro because he was afraid. He didn’t want to hear that he’d never have his friend back, and he was lost forever. It had already happened to him, _twice_ , and now for a third time his friend was gone, and he didn’t want to be told that it was permanent. That was why he needed confirmation that he didn’t run. Because he wanted to remember at least one time he hadn’t run. One time that he had accepted the truth into his life and moved on. He didn’t want to accept the truth that undoubtedly faced him now.

Allura gave him a brief smile and left. No, she didn’t understand. Probably no one on this Castle did.

Xxx

Keith wheeled his chair into his old room, ignoring the burn in his arms and shoulders. Allura had vetoed all of Pidge’s rocket chair ideas and had given him a normal chair that was motorized, but he could wheel around with his arms if he wanted to. And he did, even when it hurt, because he refused to believe that he was completely unsalvageable and was simply a waste of space. He hated feeling like an invalid, and getting himself around on his own strength felt good because it gave him some control over his body.

Keith opened a drawer and pulled out his knife. He’d wanted to have it in the hospital, but Allura had refused in case he damaged something. He slowly pulled the familiar blade out of its sheath. Its surface gleamed, and he felt suddenly sick looking at its sharp edge. All of the healing scars from the druid’s knives tingled painfully, and his heart rate sped up just looking at the blade.

Keith jammed the knife back in its scabbard, throwing it back in the drawer and slamming it shut. He put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart race through his metal glove. He angrily told himself that he was being stupid and weak; it was just a knife, and more importantly, it was _his_ knife, his mother’s knife that he’d had for his whole life. He shouldn’t be scared of it!

A knock sounded on the door, and he let out a deep breath to calm himself. “Come in!”

The door slid open, and Krolia slipped in, her face serious. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner. Kullivan kept me on mission.”

Keith nodded. He was part of the Blade as well. He didn’t hold it against her. “Right.”

Krolia fidgeted awkwardly before crossing the room and taking his hand, examining the smooth metal. “The green paladin did a good job.”

“Yeah. She did.”

They sat awkwardly for a few minutes, neither sure what to say. Krolia finally let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, Keith. I should’ve been there.”

“Better for them to only catch one of us. You’ve put the mission in jeopardy to save me before.”

She started angrily. “I don’t care! If my son is in danger, then I’ll-”

“And that’s exactly why,” he told her, “If you’d been there, the Blade might be no more. We would’ve been killed or imprisoned, and the universe would’ve fallen prey to the Empire.”

She sighed, the anger disappearing from her countenance. “I suppose you’re right. But I still wish that I could’ve helped you.” She looked at the ground. “I didn’t want to tell you, not right away, but-”

“Let me guess,” Keith said, “I’m officially kicked out of the Blade?”

Krolia nodded. “Well, you’ve been ‘given leave,’ which is a nice way of saying that they’re kicking you out.”

“I suppose that Kullivan wants you to take my blade, then?”

Krolia waved her hand in a so-so gesture. “He implied that he’d like me to get my blade back, but it’s my blade, so you can keep it, if you want.”

“Thanks.”

Krolia shook her head. “I can’t believe it. I take my eyes off of you for two weeks-”

“Hey,” he protested, “I did just fine on my own before!”

“Oh, sure,” she retorted, “I leave you on your own for eighteen years and you get involved in an intergalactic war which I left specifically to keep you out of. We meet up again, and then I leave for a few weeks and you get _paralyzed_. I really _can’t_ let you out of my sight!”

“I’m eighteen!”

“Yes! You’re practically an infant, by Galra standards!”

The door opened, and Pidge bounced in cheerfully. “Hey, Keith, I-” She froze, looking at the gun which Krolia had whirled around and pointed at her when she’d opened the door. “Bad time?”

Krolia holstered her gun. “Apologies. You startled me, green paladin.”

“Ooo-kay. So, Keith, I can see which side of the family you get your defensiveness from.”

“Haven’t you heard of knocking?”

“Certainly not from Matt. Anyway, since Allura vetoed the spider legs, I came up with something that she’s less likely to disprove.”

“Yeah?”

“Leg braces!”

“Leg braces? Pidge, I’m paralyzed, not deformed.”

Pidge sighed and tapped Keith’s gloves. “They work on the same principle as these, but they connect to your back, above the severed nerve, and they move your legs for you.”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“They won’t give you as much mobility as you used to have,” Pidge warned, “I might be good, but I’m not a miracle worker. They’ll just get you moving again, and they might not feel great. You might prefer the wheelchair.”

“No,” Keith said firmly, “I most definitely will not. How soon can you make them?”

“Well, I’ve got them basically down, but I’m still working on comfort factors-”

“I want to try them. Now.”

“Okay, okay. I thought you might. Come on.”

Krolia followed them at an interested distance while Pidge brought Keith to the training deck. Hunk and Matt were already there, playing with a holographic image of leg braces and adding onto it. Matt was enthusiastically talking about rockets and comparing them to an anime character while adding sharp metal studs to the outside for protection. Hunk was concentrating more on padding and softer metals. Pidge rolled her eyes at her brother and took down a pair of leg braces. They were tall enough to encompass Keith’s whole leg, with mechanized joints at the knees, and the same magnets from Keith’s hands were curled around to secure his waist and connect to his nerve just above his severed spinal cord.

“Ta-da!”

Pidge started snapping the braces around Keith’s legs, hauling him up out of the chair to finish them. He looked down at them, wishing that he didn’t need them.

“Activate training wheel protocol,” Pidge called to the computer.

“Training wheel?”

Pidge shrugged. “I needed a clever title.” Two handrails appeared from the floor in front of Keith. “Go ahead. Like I said, they’re similar to your gloves, so they’ll take practice to- whoa, are you okay?!”

Keith had attempted to take a step and had immediately fallen, not used to the weight and balance of the braces. “Yeah- yeah, I’m fine.” He hauled himself up with the handrails and gripped them tightly, moving the braces shakily. His legs took a step, and then shook and collapsed.

Pidge frowned. “That’s odd. The stabilizers must be off. Let me see.” She poked at the mechanical braces, checking the joints. Then she pulled up the holograph. “Alright, which of you bozos messed with the stabilizers?! Matt, what did you do?!”

Matt and Hunk held up their hands defensively. “It wasn’t us,” Matt protested, “The stabilizers and mechanics are fine! It’s user error!”

Pidge growled and examined the hologram herself, checking the levels to confirm her brother’s words. “Hm. Well, it looks fine.”

Matt shrugged again. “User error.”

“Sorry,” Keith coughed, “User error?”

“It’s not the braces,” Matt told him, “It’s you.”

“Matt,” Pidge protested.

Matt shrugged. “Well, if you don’t tell him, it’ll only hurt him. We can’t pretend that it’s the braces.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

Matt shrugged, throwing Keith one of the mind meld crowns. “Let’s find out.”

“What should I focus on?”

“Nothing,” Hunk told him, “Just let your mind do what it wants. Actually, don’t relax. Trying to relax won’t help you. You’ll only get more tense.”

“Sit down,” Pidge ordered him, forcing him back into his wheelchair, “Close your eyes.”

Keith obeyed her, and Pidge watched the screen flicker out, a shadowy image of the wheelchair coming into focus and then being quickly replaced by the braces, which were replaced with glowing yellow eyes, and a glowing metal fist. Images that Pidge couldn’t even begin to understand started flashing by, images of knifes, chains and scarlet blood, of Axca and druid robes, of a communication screen with Lotor on it. Pidge watched the images flash with increasing speed, returning repeatedly to the knife and blood. Keith’s hands clenched on the armrests of the wheelchair.

Pidge knocked the mind-meld headband off of his head, terrified of the images it projected.

“Keith,” she pleaded, putting a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “Keith, you’re okay! You’re here with us now!” Hunk joined in, gently coaxing Keith into opening his eyes, which he had squeezed shut, as if to block out the images of his captivity. Their friend was drenched in sweat, and he panted as if he’d been exercising.

“Please don’t make me do that again,” he whispered.

Pidge nodded. “What happened?!”

Matt examined the mind-meld headband. “I think… I think it picked up on our conversation and tried to call up why Keith couldn’t walk.”

“And that is…”

Matt tapped Keith’s forehead, moving quickly to avoid the swordsman’s swat. “You’re mentally blocking yourself.”

“What? Why? How do I fix it?”

Matt shrugged. “Trauma, I guess. Trauma associated with your paralysis that makes you not _want_ to walk. And the magnets pick up on that and obey your wishes. As for how you can fix it…” Matt shrugged. “That’s up to you. It’s _your_ mental block. We can’t fix it for you.”

“I think that’s enough for one day,” Pidge interrupted, unbuckling the braces, “Maybe you can try again tomorrow. Allura will have my hide if she thinks I’m overexerting you.”

Keith let her unbuckle the braces and slide them off. Krolia put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine, Keith,” she told him, “You just need some time.”

“The universe doesn’t _have_ time!”

Krolia shook her head. “The universe can wait. Let someone else do the universe-saving for once and take a break.”

Keith bit his lip to keep from screaming. Didn’t she _understand_? He _had_ to be a part of this! He had to be useful, needed! He needed to belong to this, to do something with his life! He couldn’t just let someone else do it, because he refused to be the damsel in distress while some other hero saved him and the rest of the universe! He needed to prove that he was worth it, that the Garrison had been wrong about him!

But he swallowed his protests, instead settling for wheeling his chair around and rolling out the door, managing to slam the automatic door behind him. He was talented that way.

Xxx

Keith waited until the sounds of the castle had stopped, until he was sure that everyone had gone to sleep and then transferred himself back into his wheelchair, rolling down the halls to the training deck. Pidge had left the braces out, and he buckled them on, fingers fumbling on the latches.

“Initiate training wheels protocol.”

Xxx

Lance’s pet monitor went off, and he got up with a yawn. What was wrong with Kaltenecker _now_?! He padded softly down the hallway, stopping in front of the training deck. The lights were on. Had Lotor come back? But there was no telltale sound of bot-fighting.

Lance opened the door and mentally groaned. Ugh, what was Keith _doing_?! As he watched, Keith took a shaky step and then his legs buckled, sending Keith to the floor with a curse. The black paladin shook his head and hauled himself back up, attempting to take another step. Lance watched him repeat the process a few times and then sighed. This was just sad.

“Need any help?”

Keith started and lost his balance, attempting to whirl around and getting his legs caught. He went down, _hard_ , and Lance winced. That looked like it hurt.

“Lance!”

“Sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m- fine-” Keith said through gritted teeth, “Why do people keep asking me that?!”

Lance blinked at his friend as if he had two heads. “Uh- because you’re still healing and because I just watched you crash to the ground in a fiery heap of doom? And asking if you’re okay is a perfectly natural thing to ask when you slam into the ground with the force of a nuke?”

“You’re exaggerating,” Keith told him as he reached for the handrail, “I didn’t fall that hard.”

His hand missed the rail, and Lance grabbed him by the back of his shirt, hauling him back to his feet. “How long have you been up?”

Keith’s hands gripped the handrails tightly. “A few hours.”

“Ugh, go to _sleep_ you insomniac!”

Keith shook his head. “Nope. I have to get better at this.”

Lance shook his head. “I don’t know if Pidge told you, but those braces aren’t going to get you back up to your normal standards.”

“I know. But I have to _try_.”

Lance sighed. “Of _course_ you do. Has it ever occurred to you just once in your life to take even some _semblance_ of a break?”

 Keith attempted to take another step, this time managing to catch himself before he fell. “If it ever has, I’ve ignored it.”

“Did you just make a joke?” Keith ignored him. “See, with you, I can’t be sure, because I’m not entirely sure that you have any sense of humor.”

“Sure- I- do. Just- ask- Hunk. Quiznek!”

Keith crumbled to the ground again, and Lance rolled his eyes towards heaven. “Computer, shut down training wheels protocol.”

The handrails disappeared, and Keith fell down in the middle of attempting to get back off. “Hey! Computer-”

“Computer, lock out Keith Kogane, Sickbed Protocol. Section training deck.”

“Computer, initiate Training Wheels!”

“Apologies,” the cool voice of the Castle monotoned, “Keith Kogane, you have been locked out, via Sickbed Protocol.”

“Well, unlock me, then!”

“Sickbed Protocol can only be undone by the Princess Allura, Royal Advisor Coran or the one who initiated the protocol. Goodnight, Keith.”

The computer’s voice shut off, and Keith glared at Lance. “Take it off, Lance!”

“No, I don’t think that I will.”

“Take it off, or I’ll-”

Lance crossed his arms. “You’ll what? Run into me with your wheelchair? Crawl towards me threateningly?”

Keith lunged towards him, getting one of his hands on Lance’s ankle. Lance jerked violently, and the hand detached from Keith’s wrist.

“Wow, that was-”

Keith yanked his arm backwards, and the hand tugged on Lance’s ankle, jerking him off balance and sending him to the ground. The hand kept him pinned there while Keith climbed into his wheelchair and glared at Lance.

“Now I run you over with my wheelchair.”

Lance tugged on the hand pinning him to the floor. “You’re actually a psychopath!”

Keith called the hand back to him and turned his chair around to open a control panel. “I wouldn’t actually attack a defenseless opponent. Not while they’re pinned down and unable to fight back.”

Lance thought he heard a note of bitterness in Keith’s voice, but decided not to press. “Braces off,” he commanded. The braces on Keith’s legs hissed as they automatically unbuckled and dropped to the ground.

“Oh, come _on_! You can undo those, too?”

“Pidge and Allura added an awful lot of safeguards. They didn’t trust you not to go behind their backs, and clearly their mistrust was well placed.”

Keith struggled to remove the deadweight of the deactivated braces from his legs, and Lance shook his head to himself, helping his leader pull off the metal. Keith’s shirt lifted slightly, and Lance saw bruises wrapping around his torso.

“Keith!”

“It’s just from where the braces rubbed on me,” Keith protested, “I just- fell a lot.”

“This is called self-abuse, Keith! When you start to bruise, that means you _stop_!”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Keith said quietly, “Not comparatively.”

“I don’t care about comparatively! Go to bed, Keith!”

“Fine,” Keith snapped, and he wheeled his chair back around to his room. Once Lance was sure he was inside, he looked to the ceiling.

“Computer, initiate Sickbed Protocol lockdown on Keith’s room.”

“Certainly.”


	2. Chapter 2

A large, slightly glowing wolf leapt up at Keith, nearly knocking over his wheelchair. Keith laughed.

“Hey, boy!”

The wolf turned in a circle and dropped a slobbery ball in his lap. Hunk grinned. “I taught him to fetch.”

“Traitor,” Keith told his pet good-naturedly. He threw the ball, and it hit Lance. Moments later, the wolf leapt on the red paladin, knocking him to the ground. Keith glared at Lance. “ _That_ is for locking me in my room.”

“Oh- hey! That was for your own-”

“Sit.”

Keith’s wolf sat, right on Lance’s chest. Keith rolled back towards the training deck, whistling for his pet to follow after he decided that Lance had suffered for long enough. Pidge looked up from where she was fiddling with his leg braces.

“Oh, hey, _Keith,_ ” she said in a friendly you’re-in-trouble voice, “You know, it’s really weird! Someone activated the automatic deactivation and lock on the braces. Isn’t that _strange_?”

“Weird,” he agreed, “Can you take the lock off?”

“And,” Pidge continued, “Someone also locked you out of the training deck.”

“That’s odd. Can you undo it? Y’know, with hacking?”

“And,” she went on, “it also appears that someone locked your room door last night.”

“Yeah,” Keith tried half-heartedly, “That was annoying.” He knew where this was going.

“Hm, you know the weirdest thing about it?”

Keith winced. “What?”

“They used Sickbed Protocol, Keith.”

Keith swallowed, trying to avoid Pidge’s piercing eyes. “I didn’t know we had one.”

“Yeah, Allura, Hunk and I invented it. Mostly to keep you, Lance or- or Shiro in bed if you got sick. It also works if you’ve been, say, severely injured.”

“Very foresighted of you.”

“Yes, very foresighted.” When Keith didn’t say anything, she threw a wrench at him. “When I say that you’re done for the day, you. Are. Done! No exceptions! No workarounds! What did you even accomplish?”

“Nothing,” Keith grumbled, “Just a bunch of bruises.”

“That’s it,” Pidge snapped, “I’m officially banning you from the braces for- oh, let’s see, the next two weeks sounds good!”

“Pidge-”

“Don’t ‘Pidge’ me! Two weeks! Get out of the training deck! Out!”

When Keith didn’t move, she clicked a button on some kind of remote- it looked like a video game controller- and two fighting bots dropped from the ceiling, one of them holding Keith down while the other wheeled his chair out of the training deck. The door shut and locked, the bots dissolving into coding symbols.

“Pidge!”

The door remained stubbornly locked, and Keith rolled his chair towards the bridge, his wolf following, Krolia was on the deck with Allura, and she smiled when she saw Keith before noting his sour expression.

“What happened?”

“Pidge locked me out of the training deck,” he grumbled.

Allura nodded. “Good.”

“Allura!”

“I’m not going to see you injuring yourself,” Allura said firmly, “and certainly not for those stupid leg contraptions. They’re to help you recover, not to injure yourself.”

Lotor suddenly appeared on their big screen. “Allura! We’ve had another report of Sendak. I’m sending you the coordinates now. It’s important that we stop him now, before anything happens.”

“We’re on our way.”

“Wait! I’m coming with you.”

“Lotor, don’t you have imperial duties to-”

“Right now, destroying the rebellion against my empire is the only imperial duty. I have to be there; I need you five to capture Sendak alive. I can only solidify my power if I have him alive, and my empire can see that I can neutralize any threat to my power.”

Allura nodded. “Alright. We’ll wait for you.”

Keith fought the urge to raise his hand. “Has Pidge finished her modifications to the zipline?”

“No, she’s still working on it. You’d better get moving. And Keith? Be careful. If you think that you can’t make it, or if anything starts to hurt, then come back to the castle. Don’t risk it.”

Keith nodded and started rolling down the halls to the black lion’s hangar but the purple particle barrier was up.

“Hey! Let me in!”

A confusing tangle of emotion swept to Keith from the black lion, and Keith started back, gasping as the feelings hit him like a brick wall.

Xxx

“Keith! Where are you?!”

“Uh- my lion is- it’s not letting me in.”

“Not again,” Allura groaned.

“I may be able to help,” Lotor said smoothly, “I may not be a paladin, but I’ve studied quintessence, and the bond between a paladin and lion is centered in quintessence.”

Allura eyed him doubtfully, but nodded. “Go ahead.”

Lotor raced through the halls until he could see the black lion, Keith just a speck at the edge of its particle barrier. “What’s happening?!”

“The lion- it’s scared.”

Lotor blinked at the great black lion. “Scared?”

Keith nodded. “It’s scared of- of what will happen if I get in. It- It blames itself. For what happened to me, and for what happened to Shiro. It- it feels like it should’ve been able to prevent what happened.”

“So…”

Keith shook his head. “It won’t let me in. It thinks… Well- both Shiro and Zarkon piloted the black lion and it doesn’t- it doesn’t want what happened to them to happen to me.” He banged on the particle barrier. “Hey! I don’t care! They need help! Come on!”

Lotor heard a growl, both in the hangar and in his head, and the particle barrier disappeared. The lion bent down and scooped both Keith and Lotor into its jaws.

“What’s happening,” Lotor shouted, even as he could feel the lion’s intentions in his head. Lotor would stay with Keith. He would protect Keith if anything happened.

“So I am to play the part of the paladin’s protector?”

No. He would watch Keith. He would learn to fly the lion, and, once he had gained the team’s trust, _he,_ Lotor, would be the black paladin. The lion wanted to keep Keith out of danger, and had decided that Lotor was a natural leader as well as able to take care of himself should something happen to Black.

“And what if I don’t want him to,” Keith asked with his arms crossed, “What if I want to stay the black paladin?”

The lion growled again, this time angry at Keith. It firmly sent off the feeling that if Keith got hurt again or under the control of the Galra as Shiro had been, then the black lion wouldn’t ever choose another paladin. Voltron would never defend the universe again, because whomever the black lion chose would ultimately betray them, whether willingly or not. And the black lion couldn’t stand the thought of losing another paladin.

“I’m honored,” Lotor told the black lion. Keith just sighed and piloted the lion out of the hangar, joining the firefight against Sendak. Lotor watched him carefully, noting the controls. They were similar to his own transreality ships, and he didn’t doubt that he could fly the lion. But would he be able to head Voltron?

Probably not. It was one thing to work together with a group of people. It was another thing to gain their complete trust, and, despite his words, Lotor didn’t think that any of them aside from Allura trusted him. And, of course, Lotor suspected that Lance had feelings for Allura, and jealousy would only tear the team apart.

However, Lance had seen him at his weakest moment, when he’d been distraught at Keith’s injuries.

 _I guess that’s one thing that you and I share,_ he thought at the black lion, _Both of us blame ourselves for things out of our control._

The black lion made a rumbling purring noise, startling Lotor. In the meantime, Sendak had pulled back. The lions were in hot pursuit, but Sendak made the jump to hyperspace and eluded them. Keith cursed, and the rest of the paladins shared his sentiment. They made their way back to the castle, where the other paladins demanded to know what had happened with the black lion.

“I- I’m not the black paladin anymore,” Keith said heavily, “Not really, anyway. I’m just… filling in until the new black paladin can take my place.”

“Why was Lotor in the black lion?” Pidge asked cautiously.

“He’s… the new black paladin,” Keith told them, trying for a bit of a smile. “So… I guess that we’d better get used to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I had a plan for Lotor flying the black lion from the beginning, and it wasn't changeable. So, again, just ignore everything in s6


	3. Chapter 3

 

Keith opened the drawer where he’d put his knife, glancing around to make sure that no one was in the room with him. “Guard.”

His pet happily obeyed, standing in his doorway, watching the closed door. Keith slowly slid his knife out of the scabbard, forcing himself to look at it. An overwhelming feeling of fear swept over him, and the gleam of the knife taunted him, reminding him of the druid and the pain, always with knives flashing seconds before another cut was inflicted on him-

He dropped the knife with a noisy clatter, making his wolf jump in surprise. Trying not to look at the knife, Keith threw his hand at it, sending it into a corner. He dropped his wolf’s bed on top of it, hiding it from view.

A sudden squeaking startled him, and he whirled around to see the mice, watching him with bright eyes. “If you tell Allura about this,” he warned, “I will feed you to my wolf.”

They ran away, and Keith wheeled his chair back to the black lion’s hangar. He sat in front of the particle barrier for a long time, trying to sort out his emotions.

“Patience-” Keith’s throat choked up as he attempted to use the phrase that Shiro had taught him. He shook his head and looked away.

He didn’t like what he was feeling. Disappointment, and sadness, but mostly anger. He was angry at himself, though. He was angry that he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t even have control of his own mind, that he couldn’t even control his _body_! He would never be good enough. He hadn’t been good enough for the Garrison, and he wasn’t going to be good enough for Voltron. He thought that he’d been worthy. That maybe he had actually found a place where he was needed.

He wondered whether anyone would even notice if he was gone. If he fell out of an airlock, would anyone even notice? Probably not. Or worse, they’d notice, and they wouldn’t care, or they’d say “good riddance.”

 _Stop it,_ he told himself, _what, have you suddenly turned into Lance?_ But unlike the red paladin’s false self-depreciation and feelings of uselessness, Keith’s were true, he _knew_ it. Once the team trusted Lotor and he became the black paladin, Keith would be tossed into the shadows. Oh, sure, they’d be nice enough and they’d try to include him. But it would all just be out of pity. And he couldn’t _stand_ the thought of being kept because of pity, not _again_ , not like when the Garrison had taken him on just because he was an orphan and his dad had been fairly well-respected.

Keith wasn’t going to let that happen. He had to show them that he could still take care of himself. That he wasn’t dependent, and he could hold his own. He rolled his wheelchair back to the bridge. Everybody else had gone back to bed, and it was just him on the bridge.

A small bleeping caught his attention, and he turned on a message, one of their coalition allies showing up on the screen in a recorded message.

“We’ve suffered a relapse! We need assistance, now! They don’t have ships, but they were waiting in the swamps to ambush us!”

Keith glanced around, and then scribbled a quick note, leaving it in the kitchen, and wheeled down to the pod bay. He flipped switches, and blasted off. The planet wasn’t far. He could get there without a wormhole.

 _I’m coming_.

Xxx

“Are you all that’s left?”

The refugees nodded, and their leader blinked up at Keith. “Are you all that Voltron sent? Because while I’m sure that you’re an able warrior…” he glanced at Keith’s wheelchair and cleared his throat. “Ah- well- it was a very large force of soldiers, and they’ve completely taken our capital and all of the weapons there.”

“I’m not just a paladin. I was also a member of the Blade. Infiltration and takedown shouldn’t be a problem. What do you know about the defenses?”

Xxx

Keith slid through a ventilation shaft, dragging himself by his elbows and wishing that he was just a _bit_ smaller. Pidge would’ve easily fit in this shaft, and, while he would’ve fit fairly well before his growth spurt, the shaft was a bit small.

He counted vents as he crawled through the shafts. Five- six- seven! He jammed his sword (he’d borrowed the black bayard- Lotor might be the future black paladin, but he wasn’t in charge yet) into the ceiling about where he thought the sentries were and slammed down on top of them.

“Okay. Getting in, done.”

He put one hand on the Galra hand scanner, bracing himself against the wall and using the edge of the control console to hold himself up.

 _Half Galra DNA detected,_ a cool voice intoned, _please stand by for detainment._

“No!”

The panel locked down on his hand, and the doors slammed shut.

“No, no, no!”                                                                                                                               

Keith smashed the control panel with the black bayard, pulling himself back into the air vents as the door hissed open. In his haste to get back to safety, his belt pouches were yanked open, some of their contents spilling out.

“Hey! Stop!”

A hand gripped his ankle, but he swiped at it with the claws in his metal fingers, and whoever was holding his ankle yelped and let go. He pulled himself forward as fast as possible, wincing as gunfire pierced the shaft behind him. But the lasers missed him by some stroke of luck, and he suddenly realized that several explosives had fallen out of his belt pouches in the control room.

 _Please, please_ … The detonator was still in his pouch. Well, except for getting caught, today seemed to be his lucky day. He clicked the button, and the world behind him exploded into flames. He dragged himself away as fast as possible, tumbling coughing out of a vent to the outside as black smoke billowed from the vent behind him.

The high-pitched whine of a gun charging up assaulted his ears. “On your knees!”

Keith looked up to see a squadron of soldiers all pointing their weapons at him. “Oh, boy. Maybe today _isn’t_ my day.”

Xxx

Pidge woke up as a very large, smelly cosmic wolf warped right on top of her. “Hey! Get off, you walking carpet!”

The wolf did not care for her shouting, and growled at her before bounding to the door. He edged his head towards it.

“You want me to follow you?”

He growled again, and Pidge got out of bed, edging along carefully with the animal. It led her to Keith’s room.

“Is Keith in trouble? Did he fall? Did his hand malfunction?”

The wolf looked at her like, _open the door and find out, stupid_.

Pidge opened the door. Keith was nowhere in sight. “Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no! Where is he?!”

The wolf nudged the dog bed that it sometimes slept on.

“Did he leave a message?”

Pidge knelt and flipped the bed over. Underneath, Keith’s knife was glowing. As she watched, it transformed into a sword.

“What does this mean? Why did you bring me here?”

The wolf disappeared, reappearing just outside and angling its head at her again. He followed it all the way to the bridge, where she found a note. From Keith. She hit the emergency alarm.

“Everybody up! We’ve got a situation!”

Xxx

A Galra commander paced in front of Keith, who was chained to a chair. “A paladin of Voltron wanders into my territory, without a lion or apparently any backup. And he’s paralyzed!  I can’t believe this! Either _you’re_ very stupid, or _I’m_ very lucky.”

“I don’t know if you heard,” Keith told him, “but we’re supposed to be on the same side now.”

“I don’t know if you heard,” the commander shot back at him, “but there’s a bit of a rebellion right now.”

“What do you want?”

“Mmm, ransom, perhaps. How far do you think that the emperor will go to get you back?”

“Probably not very far.”

“For a paladin of Voltron?”

Keith shrugged. “Sometimes you have to think about the greater good. Victory or death, and all that. Personally? I like victory.”

He summoned his hand to him, and it splintered the shackles on his hands to connect properly. Keith gritted his teeth as some shards of metal dug into his skin, but lunged forward with his bayard and sliced off the commander’s arm. The Galra screamed, and Keith grabbed on him, straddling him like he was going on a piggy-back ride. He held his deactivated bayard to the Galra’s neck.

“I seem to be unable to walk, so how about you carry me where I want to go?” The commander didn’t move, and Keith dug his bayard further into the man’s neck. “It would be smart to do what I want.”

The commander moved back towards the woods, inch by inch. A few instants later, a patrol came around the corner.

“Get the paladin!”

Keith dropped to the ground as lasers flew over his head. He desperately tried to form a plan, but his mind was blank, his head screaming to _move, move, now_ , but not telling him _how_ to move. He scrambled backwards, but the commander cornered him, pointing a gun at him.

“Vrepit sa!”

Keith rolled to the side, but the shot hadn’t been meant for him. It hit the wall behind him, which had already been shaky from the explosion he’d set off earlier. The wall crumbled, pinning him to the ground. The Galra commander pointed the gun at his head.

“Goodbye, paladin.”

_No, no, no!_

A roar sounded nearby, and the red lion flew overhead, shooting the commander and pretty much everything else that moved.

“You are in _so_ much trouble,” Lance’s voice crackled over his helmet, “After she’s done worrying and fussing over you, Allura’s going to _kill_ you.”

Xxx

Pidge swiped at one of Keith’s cuts with an alcoholic cleaner that stung when it touched the open wounds, but the green paladin didn’t seem to have any sympathy for him.

“That was stupid and irresponsible,” she burst out.

“I left a note.”

“Yes, and it’s a good think that your pet led me to it when he did and not when we got up in the morning, or you’d be toast.”

Keith’s wolf thumped his tail happily, looking at Keith with _are you proud of me_ eyes. Keith scratched his ears, wincing when Pidge dabbed particularly hard on a cut. “Hey, Pidge, watch it!”

Pidge didn’t answer, only slapped a space-Band-Aid over the cut and then stormed towards the door. “Stay,” she told him when he started to roll after her, “Allura’s going to want to know where you are at all times, and I’d avoid making her any angrier than she already is.” The green paladin chuckled humorlessly. “I’d wish you luck, but today you clearly don’t have any.”


	4. Chapter 4

Allura paced in front of Keith angrily. “Stupid, reckless, irresponsible, _completely_ out of line-”

“Could we stop using words to describe what I did and say exactly what was so stupid, reckless, irresponsible and completely out of line about it?”

Allura whipped around to glare at him. “You went into occupied territory alone-”

“The message made it seem as though there were few enemies-”

“Completely ignored all communications-”

“I was on stealth mission, I didn’t need to attract attention-”

“Barely even took a _weapon_ for goodness’ sake-”

“The black bayard is more than sufficient to-”

“Didn’t notify anyone before leaving-”

“I left a note-!”

Allura slammed her fists down on a table, putting a dent in the metal. “I don’t care, Keith, what you did almost got you _killed_ , all because of some- some stubborn pride!” She took a deep breath. “Keith. Please. You’re not the same as you were. You can’t get back what you lost, and stunts like these only hurt you. And us. You didn’t accomplish anything, and you nearly died. Please, promise me that you won’t do anything like this again.”

“I won’t make promises that I can’t keep.”

Allura’s gaze hardened. “So be it. Computer?”

_Yes, Princess?_

“Initiate baby-proof, Keith Kogane.”

 _Initiating_.

“What? What did you do?”

Allura stood up to go. “I’ve locked you out of the Castle. You can open the door to the kitchen, bathrooms, med bay and any of the bedrooms, but otherwise, you need the permission of Coran or another paladin if you want to get in. You can communicate with anyone in the Castle with the com buttons, but you can’t com anyone outside or receive their coms.”

“Allura-!”

“I’m not going to let you get hurt!” Allura shouted, “If you continue insisting upon putting yourself in danger for selfish reasons like a child, I will treat you as such! You better show me that you can be responsible, or I’ll keep you locked out permanently! Understood?!”

“I’m not a kid!” Keith shouted back, “And besides, how am I supposed to prove myself responsible if you won’t even give me any _chances_ to be responsible?! You’re just trying to turn me into a prisoner!”

Allura slammed her fist down again, this time nearly tearing right through the metal. “If that’s what it takes to keep you from _killing_ yourself, then I will!”

“Think about what you’re doing,” Keith warned her, “If something happens with the lions, or if some battle catastrophe happens and I’m the only one left standing-”

“How could you be,” Allura said coldly, “when you can’t even stand?” Keith jerked back like he’d been punched, and Allura sighed. “I’m sorry. That was out of line. But just think about it, _please_. What would _you_ have done in my place? What would _Shiro_ have done?”

Keith’s eyes hardened. “Well, I guess we’ll never know.” He wheeled his chair away, coldly ignoring her pleas to come back. Pidge was waiting for him outside, eyes sympathetic.

“Keith- is there any way that I can-”

“Unless you’re planning on hacking the castle and removing Allura’s protocol,” Keith growled, “then no.”

He wheeled down the hallway, slamming the door to his room behind him. He lifted his wolf’s bed and retrieved his knife, his anger and adrenaline combating and subduing his aversion towards the keen blade. He wasn’t going to be a prisoner.

Xxx

Keith ripped a panel off of the Castle wall, prying it off with his knife and exposing the mess of wires underneath. He took a deep breath, trying to remember the makeup of similar doors on Earth, but nothing came to him, so he shrugged and sliced the wires. Worst that could happen would be that he’d get caught, but what else could Allura do to him? Confine him to his room, probably, but he felt confident that he could probably get out of his room.

The door powered down, and Keith pried it open. The castle’s pods awaited him. But so did someone else.

“Going somewhere?”

Keith jumped. “Pidge!”

Pidge pushed her laptop shut, standing up from her position on the floor. “Allura’s not going to be happy that you destroyed her door. It’ll probably be a pain to fix. Why are you here?”

“Um- just taking a walk. Well- you know- a roll. Whatever.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “So you broke down a door to take a walk- excuse me, roll?”

Keith nodded. “Yep,” he lied, “Needed a change of scenery from the one hallway I’ve been confined to.”

Pidge’s brown eyes pierced right through him. “I suppose that you wanted to see the nice scenery of space from the inside of a pod? Hm? Don’t lie to me, Keith, I think you understand having a problem with people lying to you. So. What’s the plan, then?”

Keith blinked. “What?”

“What’s the plan,” Pidge repeated, “Great, you got in the pod bay, now what? Surely you could’ve guessed that Allura locked you out of the pods as well, and you couldn’t _possibly_ have thought that you could use that little wire-slicing trick to get a pod up and running for you. So, do you know how to hotwire a pod? Or were you hoping that you could open an airlock and maybe jetpack to the nearest planet? I doubt that your jetpack has the fuel capacity, and you’d have to be lucky enough to land in a city or you’d probably die. So what’s the plan?”

“I- uh-”

Pidge sighed, shaking her head. “See, that’s your problem, Keith. You never think ahead! You don’t plan out all of the steps, and it has never occurred to you to think beyond your next meal, so to speak. That may have been just fine in the desert, just trying to get through each day, but that won’t work for you here. So, set down your measly bag of belongings, turn around, and think about what you’re doing. Where will you go? What will you do? Do you have a plan?”

“Maybe I’ll save Shiro,” Keith said mulishly, “He let Lotor and I escape. Maybe there’s enough Shiro left after the witch’s meddling that I can fix him.”

“Yes, and maybe Haggar will turn into a sweet old lady who bakes cookies, Allura will suddenly stop speaking in a British accent and rips in reality will spit rainbows and butterflies instead of quintessence and monsters!” Pidge sighed, taking off her glasses and polishing them. “The fact is, Keith, even if there _is_ enough Shiro to save, you’d still have to get past a fleet of fighters, dozens of Galra guards, Shiro’s murder-y side, Haggar’s mind control and probably Haggar herself to get him back. And you have, what, a knife and _maybe_ a Castle pod? Again, think ahead.”

Keith avoided her eyes. She was right, and he knew it, but he didn’t want to admit it. “I’m not going to stay here if I’m just going to be a prisoner.”

Pidge shook her head. “Alright, look, I’ll take the lock off of the braces again, okay? And I’ll let you into the training deck. I’ll alter Allura’s orders that much, and I’ll see about convincing her to let you on the bridge and answer coms.” She smiled hesitantly. “Maybe you can be our guy in the chair.”

“Thanks, Pidge.”

“I know what you mean about being a prisoner. Not here, but back on earth, at the Garrison. When I had to hide who I was. I don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped, and I know that the others feel the same.”

“I’m not sure Allura would agree.”

Pidge fiddled with her glasses, turning them over in her fingers. “Allura… she’s- she’s just trying to help in the only way that she can, or what she thinks is the best way. She thinks that she’s doing the right thing. She cares about you, Keith. We all do.”

“I know.”

Pidge smiled. “Good. Now, come with me. You’re going to help me repair a door.”


	5. Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!

Keith’s legs wobbled beneath him, and he collapsed. Again.

“Again,” Pidge demanded, not even looking up from her laptop, “Keep trying.”

Keith didn’t get up. He sat on the floor where he’d fallen, glaring at the leg braces. “This is stupid,” he declared.

“If I don’t say it’s stupid, then chances are that it’s not,” Pidge said mildly, “Again.”

“I just- I can’t walk, Pidge! My legs are basically useless! It’s over, Pidge.”

“It ain’t over till I _say_ it’s over. Again.”

“How can you say that?! I. Can’t. Move!”

Pidge finally looked up from her laptop, her brown eyes flashing. “Keith, you get your sorry butt off of the ground and you. Try. Again.”

“What’s the point,” he said miserably, “They’re never going to work again.”

Pidge, to Keith’s amazement, _closed her laptop_ , and walked over to him, sitting next to him on the ground. “Your legs might not work again, Keith Kogane, but I’ll be eaten by an angry clanmural if _you_ won’t. Hunk, Matt and I worked hard on those braces, and you are going to use them, for the love of Voltron, because you are our black paladin, and you’re not going to give up!”

“I’m not your black paladin anymore,” Keith said softly, “Lotor is.”

Pidge snorted. “He may be the black lion’s paladin, but he’s not the black paladin. He’s not _our_ black paladin.” She offered him a smile. “Now. Again.”

The next few hours flashed by in a series of bruises. Crash. Fall.

“Again.”

Bruised palms.

“Again.”

Keith was ninety percent certain he’d hit his tailbone hard enough to get a concussion.

“Again.”

Hands failing on the rails.

“Again.”

Keith puffed, staring at the rails above him, sweat pouring down his face. He reached up, accompanied by Pidge’s “Again” and hauled himself up. And tried again. The druid’s knife flashed into his mind, and he pushed it away angrily. The braces clicked, and moved his legs one tentative step ahead. He stared at it, making his other leg to the same.

“Pidge, I’m doing it!”

The instant that he stopped focusing on walking, he crashed to the ground.

“Again.”

“Pidge, I did it, I took a couple of steps!”

“Good. Now do it again. I want you to be able to _walk_ , not teeter-totter a couple of steps.”

Keith hauled himself back up, concentrating all of his being on taking a step. The dinner bell rang, startling him, and he fell to the ground again.

“I can’t.”

“Too bad,” Pidge told him, “You have to.” She sat in his wheelchair and started rolling down the hallway.

“Hey! Bring that back!”

“Nope. You have to walk yourself to dinner, or you won’t get any.”

“Pidge!”

Her disembodied voice floated down the hallway as she wheeled out of sight. “Again! I’m having Hunk close down the kitchen in an hour! You better be here in time!”

Keith hauled himself up, trying to get his braces to move again. They tentatively obeyed him, staggering a few steps before his concentration slipped, and he once again fell to the ground. He growled, gripping the handrail, and pulled himself back up, taking a deep breath, and releasing the handrails so that he could walk across the training deck.

He fell.

He pushed himself back up. He tottered a few steps.

He fell.

He repeated, again and again, rise and fall, rise and fall. He was panting with effort and then flopped on his back, sure that he wouldn’t be able to push himself up again.

“I can’t,” he whispered, “I can’t.”

Xxx

Allura watched on the security feed that Pidge had pulled up, watching Keith struggle and fall once again. She saw Krolia’s hand tighten on the table. All of the paladins were watching the feed, none of them eating, except for Pidge, who slurped down the pasta that Hunk had made.

“Pidge,” Lance asked tentatively, “Isn’t this enough? Shouldn’t we help him now?”

Pidge gulped down her mouthful of food. “Nope.”

“Pidge, he’s flopped on the floor,” Hunk protested, “You can’t just leave him like that!”

“I most certainly can, and I will,” Pidge replied firmly, “I’m done babying him.”

Allura shook her head. “I’m going to help him.”

Pidge frowned, and, in a blink of the eye, all of the doors out of the kitchen slammed shut. “Oh, no you’re not. You’re staying right here. He’s either going to walk, or he’s going to starve.”

“That’s unethical,” Allura protested.

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t this exactly what you and Coran did in order to get us to form Voltron? Withheld food until we could work together?”

“That- that was different,” Allura sputtered, “You were all in the prime, healthy and hale! He’s-”

“Perfectly healthy except for his paralysis,” Pidge interrupted, “and possibly some mental issues. But we can’t coddle him, not for that. Boy’s gotta get up on his own two legs- or leg braces- and walk by himself.”

Krolia nodded. “Much as I hate to say it, she’s right. This’ll be good for him.” She turned a worried eye on the security feed. “At least, I hope it will be.”

Xxx

Keith groaned. “Patience. Patience yields focus.” He pushed himself up, taking another few steps before falling again. He slapped the ground with an open palm. “Again!” He shoved himself up. Took a few steps. Fell. “Again!”

He finally made it out of the training deck, and he looked down the hall. The dining room had never seemed so far away. Almost as far away as Lotor’s ship had been when-

Keith didn’t push the memory flashes away. He gritted his teeth and took another few steps before falling again. But he’d taken one more step than he had last time.

 _Knives flashing_.

“Again!”

_Searing pain._

“Again!”

_The cold pinch of the knife._

“Again!”

_Blood dripping down his arms._

“Again!”

_Manacles, cutting into his skin._

“Again,” Keith roared, staggering a few more steps, his first few steps sure and steady then slowly deteriorating as he forced his aching, tired, hungry body forward. Sweat poured in rivers down his face, neck and back, and his breathing was getting more and more labored. He fell, and his arms shook as he attempted to push himself back up. He leaned against the wall, panting.

Xxx

Inside the kitchen, Hunk covered his eyes. “I can’t watch,” he yelped.

Everybody else stared in rapt horror at the video in front of them.

“Come on, Keith,” Krolia whispered, “Come on!”

Xxx

Keith groaned and shoved himself back up, ignoring his shaky muscles. He kept one hand on the wall, leaning on it for support as he stumbled a few more steps forward.

_Just a little farther, just a little farther, just- a- little- farther!_

He repeated the words to himself, over and over and over, continuing his exhausting trek towards the kitchen.

_You flew two lions._

_You formed Voltron._

_You **led** Voltron!_

_You can walk down a quizneking hallway!_

Keith let out a war cry, staggering the last few steps and collapsing at the door, shaking hand reaching for the door panel.

The door hissed open, and Pidge looked down at him, a small smile of satisfaction playing on her lips. “Well done,” she told him, “You walked- well- staggered- down the hallway.”

He panted, looking up at her pleadingly, too exhausted to talk.

“Buuuuut,” Pidge continued, “it took you five minutes over the time limit. Kitchen’s closed, sorry.”

Keith’s head thudded against the wall despairingly. He’d been _so close_!

Pidge shrugged. “That’s the way the cookie crumbles. Get yourself to bed. I’m waking you up at seven-o-clock, and we’re going back to the training deck. You made a lot of progress today, but you’ve got to get better. Much better.”

“Where’s the chair?” Keith whispered, voice hoarse.

Pidge shrugged. “I locked it up. You’re not taking the easy way out, buddy.”

Keith sighed, but despite his tired face, Pidge saw a light of determination in his eyes. Good. He was still Keith. And that was all she needed to know.


	6. Chapter 6

Keith groaned as Pidge’s voice blared at him from the P.A. system. _Keith, get up! It’s time to keep training! Up! Now!_

Keith fumblingly attempted to buckle on his braces, then looked with a sigh at the door. Walking to the training deck was going to take _forever_.

Cosmo snuggled up to Keith’s leg and then warped, appearing in the training deck. Pidge laughed, scratching his ears.

“Good boy! Now get out.”

Cosmo obeyed, probably going back to sleep in Keith’s bed. Keith watched him go in disappointment.

“Come on, Pidge!”

“No. No cheating. Walking only. I trained him to bring you in the morning because I knew it would take forever for you to get here on your own, and honestly, I don’t have patience in the morning. Computer, training wheels.”

The rails came out of the ground, and Keith blinked at them.

“Wait, these again? I thought that we were done with these!”

Pidge shook her head. “Those are for later. Yesterday was good, but you won’t always have the luxury of being able to fall and get back up. What if the Castle malfunctions, and you only have a few minutes to get to another room before the one you’re in fills with poisonous gas? You won’t be able to get out in time, that’s what!”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

Pidge’s eyes glinted dangerously. “Keith, are you hungry?”

Keith gave her a withering glare. “Well, seeing as how you didn’t let me _eat_ last night, yes.”

Pidge remained distinctly unwithered and went outside of the training deck, communicating with him through a small screen. “Yes, it was excellent motivation, but obviously not excellent enough. So I thought to myself, I thought, Pidge, what can motivate him properly?” She grinned brilliantly at him. “Do you know what I decided on?”

He sighed. “No, Pidge, what could you have possibly decided on?”

“Well, you know how when we first formed Voltron, we could only do it because we were in extreme danger?”

“I don’t think I like where this is going.”

“I thought, maybe Keith just needs to have his life in danger!”

“Yep, I _definitely_ do not like where this is going.” He touched the door panel, but it was locked. “Pidge, open the door.”

“No.”

Keith banged on the door. “Pidge! Open the door! Now!”

“No can do. See, the button that will open the door is across the room. See the big red one?”

Keith looked across the room and saw the button. “Yeah.”

“Get across the room, push it, and it will open the door for five minutes, in which time you’ll have to get back across the room and out the door. Then we can go to breakfast.” Pidge was now in the observation room. “That’s all you have to do.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. Buuuut, there’s going to be a level twenty gladiator bot down there with you.”

The bot dropped from the ceiling, and Keith banged on the door harder. “Pidge! What are you _doing_?! I couldn’t beat one of those when I could still walk!”

Pidge’s voice crackled over the training deck’s coms. _Yeah, well, you’re not going to fight it. You’re going to avoid it and get to that button._

“PIDGE!”

_Kitchen closes in two hours. Better get moving._

Xxx

Hunk hesitated outside of the training deck door, which was locked. Inside, he could hear yelps and what sounded like muffled screams. He tapped his helmet and commed in the deck.

“Uh, what’s going on in there?”

“It’s Pidge!” Keith yelled, “She’s gone crazy!” Hunk heard another yelp and a thump. “She’s sicced a level twenty bot on me, and-”

Keith’s voice cut off, and Pidge’s calm voice cut in. “Hi, Hunk! We’re just working on his walking in here, there’s nothing to worry about. Go make some breakfast, will you?” In the background, Hunk heard a muffled _thump_ followed by a scream. “I think Keith’s going to need it. Maybe make something that heals bruises? Is that possible?”

“Pidge, you can’t make him fight a level twenty bot!”

“Oh, he’s not supposed to be fighting it,” Pidge promised, “He’s supposed to be running away from it and avoiding it.” There was another thump. “He’s exceptionally horrible at dodging it,” Pidge added, “Yeah, maybe get some stuff ready in the med bay. But don’t let Allura know why, okay? Thanks, bye!”

Xxx

Keith panted from his place of safety, hidden behind a punching bag. He was okay for now, but he’d have to face the gladiator soon if he wanted to get out.

 _Keith!_ Pidge’s voice shouted from the P.A., _You’re supposed to be dodging, not hiding!_

The punching bag was suddenly ripped away, replaced by the bot. Keith screamed and rolled to the side.

_Oh, yeah, at level twenty, they can access the security cameras. You can’t hide from them._

“PIDGE! CALL OFF THE MURDER BOT!”

_Less screaming, more running._

Keith barely managed to get on his feet when the robot lunged again. This time, Keith seized hold of the staff and used it to swing himself around, launching his body through the air, across the room and slamming into the button.

“Ow.”

_Ooo, well done, but can you get back across the room?_

Keith let the bot hit him. He had to hope that he was correct; his whole plan depended on what the bot did next.

The staff went flying into his ribs with a mighty _crack_ , sending him back across the room towards the door. Yes! He’d been correct! His ribs might be broken, but there was _no way_ that he was missing another meal, not if Pidge was going to subject him to this kind of training every day. He managed to stand up and lunged out the open door.

_Keith! The bot’s out of control!_

Keith pivoted and saw that the bot, whose eye had turned a glowing red, was still coming at him. “Pidge, what’s going on?!”

 _It’s gone rogue! It- oh- quiznek, Keith, it’s on **kill** mode! Get out of there! I’m trying to shut it down, but it’s running a program against me! It’s too smart!_ _I’m setting up a program on the kitchen! Once you’re through, it’ll lock down! Get going!_

“What about you?!”

_I’ll be safe as long as I’m up here! Go!_

Xxx

Hunk happily chopped up a space-tuber. He enjoyed making tacos; they were so easy, but fun to experiment with. You could do _so much_ with what seemed like such a simple meal.

Keith shot into the kitchen, moving faster than Hunk thought was humanly possible.

Hunk gently steered the exhausted paladin to a chair. “Whoa, slow down, Keith, what happened?”

“Killer bot,” Keith panted, “Chased me through the hallways. Pidge said she’d close the door.”

Instead of the door closing, Pidge herself walked through the doors. “Excellent job, Keith.”

“What?”

“You did very well. I didn’t know that you could move that fast. You certainly exceeded my expectations.”

“Pidge, what are you talking about?!”

Pidge grinned. “It was a test!

“A what, now?”

“A test! While you were just trying to open the door, you knew that I could call off the bot, and you weren’t ever in actual danger. But if you thought that the thing would kill you, then you’d move it! And you did wonderful!”

“Oh,” Keith said faintly, “Great.”

Then the adrenaline faded, and he passed out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THERE WILL BE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: I WILL GIVE WARNING BEFORE IT STARTS, SO IF THAT KIND OF THING TRIGGERS YOU, YOU CAN SKIP IT.

Keith woke up with Pidge next to him. He was lying in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped around his chest.

“Oh, hey, you’re up!”

“Ugh- what happened?”

“You passed out. You feeling okay?”

“I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

“Yeah, okay, sorry about that. But you’re doing great! You saw how fast you got into the kitchen! That was _excellent_!”

A sudden wave of panic swept over Keith. “No! Did I miss breakfast?!”

Pidge scratched her head. “Well, yes. But,” she added as he slumped in despair, “I saved you some tacos!” She pointed to a plate with four tacos on it and wrinkled her nose as he scarfed it down. “Don’t eat so fast, you’ll make yourself sick!”

“Don’t care,” he muttered in-between bites, “Hungry.”

“Fair enough.”

The door hissed open, and Allura walked through, face a calm anger. “Pidge, can I speak to you?”

Pidge gulped. “Um- sure.” She followed the princess out of the medical bay, bracing herself for the lecture that was soon to come. She wasn’t disappointed.

“What were you _thinking_?! You could’ve gotten him _killed_!”

“I knew what I was doing,” Pidge protested, “I wouldn’t have let anything bad happen to him!”

“Besides broken ribs?” Allura asked sarcastically.

“That’s not permanent,” Pidge replied.

“I don’t care! You set him against a level _twenty_ bot!”

“He wasn’t supposed to try and fight it!”

“But he did,” Allura snapped, “You put him _way_ out of his league!”

“Oh, because you setting us against a bot out of our league was  _so_ much better?!”

“Yes! You five weren’t- weren’t-”

“What?”

“You five weren’t-”

“What is it, Allura? Spit it out! What are you trying to say about Keith?!”

“You five weren’t disabled!” Allura burst out, “You five had full use of your bodies!”

“That doesn’t matter, Allura, what matters is that we’re making progress!”

“Well, maybe progress shouldn’t be made!” Allura burst out.

Pidge took a step back. “What are you saying? You’re saying we shouldn’t get Keith back up to his normal standards?”

“I’m just saying- sometimes things happen for a reason, and maybe- maybe we shouldn’t try fighting it.”

“That- that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“THE BLACK LION REJECTED KEITH FOR A REASON!” Allura shouted, loud enough to make Pidge take a step back. She remained silent as Allura pushed it out. “It’s not just because he’s paralyzed I’m sure.”

“Actually, that’s _exactly_ why it rejected him, but go on.”

“Well- maybe the black lion knows something that you don’t, Pidge. Maybe it’s cruel to give Keith hope where there is none.”

“There’s something else on your mind about this, isn’t there? This is just your cold logic trying to dispel your guilt and doubts.”

Allura hugged herself. “Maybe… Maybe we need Lotor. Maybe it’ll be good for the team and good for our alliance if the head of the Galra Empire is also the head of Voltron.”

“Maybe  _you_ need Lotor,” Pidge said in disgust, “Maybe you want your oh-so-special went-to-Oriande half-Altean boyfriend to be just as special as you think _you_ are.”

“Maybe Keith isn’t the best leader!” Allura shot back, “Maybe we would be better off without him!”

Pidge took a step back. Behind them, the med bay door hissed open, revealing Keith, who had been listening to the conversation. Allura took a step back.

“Keith! You’re awake! And up!”

He gave her a mournful, hurt look and walked down the hallway, disappearing into his room. The automatic door somehow slammed behind him.

Pidge turned back to Allura, brown eyes alight with fury. “You think that we’d be better off without him?! Keith has been the most loyal to the fight! He was willing to _die_ for the cause! He was willing to sacrifice his own life to save Voltron! And you think that we’d be better off without him?!” She shook her head and decided to take a dirty potshot at the princess. “This is why the Alteans were wiped out,” she said scornfully, and flounced off down the hallway.

(WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/SUICIDE ATTEMPTS ARE STARTING NOW. SCROLL UNTIL YOU SEE BIG LETTERS AGAIN. THANK YOU)

Xxx

“Keith?”

Keith ignored Pidge’s knock on his door, curled up on his bed with his back to the wall, knees hugged to the chest.

“Keith, I know you’re in there.”

“Go away,” he shouted through the door. He heard her sigh and sit down outside.

“She didn’t mean it.”

“But she did,” he yelled, “She did, and you didn’t disagree! I can’t walk anymore, not on my own, and no matter how hard we try, I’ll _always_ be dependent on something else to hold me up! I know that I’m broken, and I’m sick of you pushing and prodding me into your expectations, so just _go away_!”

To his surprise, she did, her footsteps echoing down the hallway, a bit sadly he thought. He put his head in his hands.

_Useless_

_Broken_

_Better off without him._

_Lotor would be a better leader_

_Better off without him._

_They’d be better off without him._

He looked at his knife, a promise between he and his mother.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and left it behind as he walked out the door. Everyone was at dinner. No one would notice if an airlock opened.

Xxx

Hunk did a head count as he passed out dinner. “Hey, where’s Keith?”

He saw Allura start guiltily, and Pidge looked into her pasta sadly.

Hunk sighed. “Pidge, did you push him too hard?”

“No,” she said sullenly, throwing a scathing look at Allura, “but _someone_ did.”

“Allura?” Hunk asked.

Allura didn’t answer, and Pidge glared at her. “Come on, Allura, tell them what you told me, about _change_ , and how Keith getting paralyzed is _good_ for us!”

Lance blinked. “Wait, what?!”

“It wasn’t exactly like that,” Allura protested, “Pidge is- she’s warping my words!”

A little alert showed up on Allura’s screen. “Oh! One of the airlocks is opening! Why…?”

“Where’s Keith?!” Hunk asked frantically.

Lance snapped his fingers at Kosmo. “Kosmo, fetch!”

The wolf disappeared, reappearing a few seconds later with Keith, who fell instantly to the ground, face blue. He coughed, sucking air into his lungs.

Pidge knelt next to him. “Keith, what-?”

Keith coughed. “Why did you stop me?” he snapped at his pet the instance he got his breath back.

“I told him to,” Lance said sternly.

“Why?!”

“Because you’re our friend, stupid! We weren’t going to let you jump out of an airlock.”

“You should’ve!” Keith staggered to his feet, leg braces whining plaintively.

“Where are you going?”

“To finish what I started!”

Lance and Pidge both stood in front of the door. “No. No way!”

“Move!” Despite his physical weakness, Keith pushed them aside, his eyes glowing eerily. “You don’t want me around, that’s fine!”

“Braces off and lock,” Pidge commanded, and the braces obeyed.

Keith collapsed to the floor. “Just let me go!” he demanded, “Just stop holding on!”

Hunk picked him up easily, throwing him over one shoulder. “Come on, Keith,” he said sadly.

“No! Let me go!” Keith beat on Hunk’s back fruitlessly. “Let me go!”

Allura approached softly. “I’m sorry, Keith,” she whispered, putting two fingers on his neck. There was a flash of blue beneath her fingers, and Keith went limp. She sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said again.

XxX

(SAFE TO READ NOW, ALTHOUGH THERE WILL BE SOME MORE MINOR ALLUSIONS)

Keith woke up in the common room. The other paladins watched from another room, waiting for him to react. They saw him sit up and stare listlessly at the wall.

“Look what you’ve done,” Pidge whispered to Allura angrily, “Remember how he used to be so fierce and energetic?!”

She had, by this point, repeated her conversation with Allura to the other paladins, and as of right now, every single one of them was giving the Altean princess the silent treatment.

“The druids did this to him, not me!”

“No, it was you,” Pidge argued, “He could’ve recovered from everything if you’d just given him a little encouragement and faith!”

“That’s beside the point!”

“I’m not just watching anymore,” Hunk declared, and the other paladins followed him into the common room. Keith gave them a blank look.

“Hey, Keith. How you feeling?”

He just sighed, shivering. Hunk wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.

“Why did you stop me?” Keith asked hollowly.

Hunk blinked. “What?”

“Why did you stop me? I know that I’m useless, and I’d rather just not exist than be your pity-project.”

“Listen,” Hunk said angrily, “You’re _not_ useless. What Allura said was a lie. You’re not useless, and if you were gone- we’d be way, _way_ worse off. Do you honestly think that any of us could form Voltron under _Lotor_?!”

Lance and Pidge nodded firmly, then moved to the side, revealing Allura standing behind them.

“Um- hello, Keith.” He didn’t reply and she let out a long breath. “Are you- are you feeling better?”

“No.”

“O-Oh. I just- I wanted to tell you- I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. For what I said.”

“But you still think it,” Keith said flatly.

“I- I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“Yeah. You said. But you’re not.”

“No- not sorry for that. I just…” Allura held out her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Keith sighed and handed her the black bayard. She set it down on the table.

Pidge stared at her, mouth hanging open. “Wait- wait- what’s going on?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Keith asked, “She’s kicking me out.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” Allura protested, “I’m taking you back to earth. It’ll- it’ll be better for you there.”

Lance blinked. “Wait- _earth_ will be better for him?”

“He lived alone in a shack in the middle of the desert,” Pidge said flatly, “How is that better for him?”

“It’s fine,” Keith told them emotionlessly, “I’ll be fine. I’d rather be on earth than up here watching the fight but staying out of it.”

“You’re sure?” Allura asked, “I don’t really want to do this if- if you’d rather stay with us. I just feel like…”

“Like you can leave me there with a clear conscience because you’ve done all you can and I’m not your problem, so if you show up to visit later and I’ve succeeded at killing myself you can shrug and say ‘well, how was _I_ supposed to stop it?’.”

“No- I-”

“Save it, Allura. You’re kicking me out, and that’s fine. I know I don’t belong, I know that I’m useless, so just get me on the nearest shuttle to earth. Don’t waste time on goodbyes and pretending that you’ll miss me.”

Allura nodded. “Alright. I _will_ miss you, but alright.”

A clatter caught their attention, and they looked to see that Pidge had thrown her bayard on the table. “I quit,” she announced.

Allura gaped. “ _What_?!”

“I quit,” Pidge repeated, “There are two people in this universe who I trust to lead me and they’re Keith and Shiro. Shiro’s not here, and I can’t expect him to be, and you’re firing Keith. So, I quit.” She sat down next to him on the couch, glaring at all of them, but especially at Allura. She smiled at Keith, though. “Earth can use another mechanic and coder. I can help my dad. It’s not hard, I’ll teach you.”

Another clatter made them look to the table where the red and yellow bayards now lay. “We’re quitting too,” Hunk announced. Lance nodded, but his gaze flicked to Allura.

“You don’t have to do this,” Keith told him, “I know how much she means to you.”

“Nah, we’re a team. That’s what Voltron is all about, right? Teamwork and bonding and watching each other’s backs. And we can’t give up on each other, or, well, what are we? Not Voltron. Not a team. Not friends.”

Hunk sniffled. “That was beautiful, Lance.”

Pidge smiled brightly at Keith. “If you’re going to earth, we’re coming with you. We’re a team, and we stick together. You’ll just have to deal with it.”

The ghost of a smile crossed his lips. “I’d love to deal with it for all eternity.” He sighed. “I’d like to take you all with me. I _would_. But- Voltron needs you. The _universe_ needs you. Your place is here. With your lions. The black lion… it rejected me for a reason. And you have to accept that. If I can’t lead anymore… you guys deserve someone who can.”

A resounding roar echoed through the castle, the roar of the black lion. And all of the other lions answered, with the exception of the blue lion. Keith lifted his head as a jumble of emotions flowed to him from the black lion. Pride in Keith. Guilt that it had pushed him away. Sadness that Keith had gotten so close to an eternity of despair, and more guilt for letting him get there. And last, a feeling of content. It didn’t need Lotor. It needed Keith. More than that, it  _wanted_ Keith, and was proud to call Keith its paladin.

Allura threw her bayard on the table, tears trickling down her cheeks. “I’m the one who shouldn’t be a paladin,” she whispered, “I’m the one who tried to push you away. I’m the one who pushed you too far. I’m the one who deserves to be thrown out. I’m sorry, Keith. I’m so, so, sorry.”

She sank to the ground, sobbing. A hand found her shoulder, and she looked up to see Keith, on the ground next to her, kneeling with Hunk, Lance and Pidge helping hold him upright. He held her bayard out to her.

“You’re a part of the team,” he told her, “And we don’t kick anyone out.”

Allura looked at the offered bayard, tears still forming in the corners of her eyes. He shook it slightly.

“Come on, Allura. Take it. You’re one of us. And we don’t turn our backs on each other, no matter what.”

Allura reached out with a shaking hand and took the bayard, letting it melt into her armor. She grabbed Keith’s outstretched hand and pulled him up, slinging one of his arms over her shoulders to support him.

“No matter what,” she agreed.

Down in the hangar, the blue lion roared.


End file.
